ME3 - D is for Dissimulate
v. conceal or disguise one’s thoughts, feelings, or character
It’s fascinating how many things a person can feel at once.
Irrational anger. Where have you been? You could have been hurt. I know you’re hard to kill, but this is a galactic apocalypse, a little more dangerous than the regular bullets.
Empathy. You look like hell. Understandable, considering where we are and what’s going on. When was the last time you slept? Or ate?
Joy. You’re alive. You’re here. You’re real. I missed you.
So many feelings to compress and hide behind a soldier’s mask. A combat zone filled with strangers is not the place for a romantic reunion. Only glimpses of emotion slip through the facade. A tight grip of the hand, low and soft rumble, the briefest smile. Promises of later.
Later we will set aside our masks and talk.
ME3 - Circumstance
Hira snapped to a salute as her guest entered the apartment. “Sir.”
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ME - It Runs In the Family
Hira paused at the last step off the docking bay platform, taking a moment to let her eyes adjust to the light. The air here was drier than home, a cool breeze keeping the heat from being too stifling. She looked around at the small crowd of travelers meeting family and business partners. No familiar faces. With a slight shrug she hefted her duffel onto her good shoulder and started forward.
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Made a reference for Hira’s scars post-game (template from humon on dA). All the grey is from the battle at London.
My poor bb got blasted ;n;
also on my list of art things I’d like to commission at some point is Hira post-war, ‘cause she has a bunch of scars from the battle at London and she’s missing an arm and she gets a bit lazy with cutting her hair so sometimes it’s a bit scruffy but never long enough to start curling and there’s shocks of grey and silver at her temples and she’s got some under-eye circles still and a limp in her right leg and she looks tired sometimes but it’s not the “exhausted but have to keep going” tired
![co-written by whatsernameanyways
It took her longer than usual to remember where she was. [[MORE]]The room had no faint blue light, no skylight of streaming stars; the lack of familiarity just increased her panic. It was the breathing that brought her back, soft and whispering. With a few more blinks she recognized the master bedroom of the apartment. Hira sighed. Suppose it’s not official until I have a nightmare here.
She relaxed a little at the sight of Thane beside her, perfectly still save for the steady rise and fall of his breathing. She hadn’t woken him this time, a small comfort. She still felt a little bad for the time she’d screamed both of them awake.
She stayed there for a moment, listening to his breaths as her heart slowed to normalcy, and then began to sit up. Thane sat up right, eyes wide. Hira frowned, having just propped herself up on her elbows. “How do you sleep at all?”
He blinked, tension melting away at the realization that there was no threat. Concern came next and he cupped her face gently. “Another nightmare?”
She found it both comforting and a little irritating that he could guess why she was awake. “I’m fine,” she assured, sitting up fully.
Thane arched a browridge. “It is no wonder that you find difficulty in learning my language. You are mistaking fine to mean ‘well’ when in fact it means ‘delicate’.”
Hira debated grabbing her pillow and hitting him with it. He set his hand on the pillow, smirking when she snorted.
“I’ll be alright,” she corrected. “Just have to let the memories settle again.”
Thane did not respond for a moment, taking her hand and turning it over as he pondered. “If that is how you normally handle such circumstances, that is your choice and wholly acceptable. I wonder, however, if I may perhaps suggest a different method?”
She frowned, confused. “Like what?”
“It may do you well to speak openly of them.”
Hira felt herself freeze solid, insides contracting into tight knots. She’d gone to great effort to bury those things, sealing them away as best she could, keeping the subject out of thought and conversation. Dragging it all up was somehow more terrifying than Reapers.
Thane gently squeezed her hand, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Siha?”
She swallowed, throat suddenly dry. “Not sure that’s even a possibility.”
He smiled and brushed his knuckles along her cheek. “A feeling I know well.”
The comfort of that thought, knowing that he understood, helped her start to calm down again. When she felt like she could move, she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder with a murmur of thanks.
The suggestion stayed in her head, though, a nudging thought through the hours until morning, and then into breakfast. It wasn’t a bad idea, at least worth considering, which was why she voiced it while she made oatmeal. “What if we both talk about them?” Thane looked up from the teapot he was filling, and Hira continued. “Makes sense. I share a memory, then you share one.”
For a moment he said nothing; Hira suspected he was going through similar thoughts as she’d been a few hours ago. Slowly he set the teapot to heat up, and then he met her gaze, voice almost cautious as he answered, “I am willing to try.”
She gave him a faint smile.“Alright. Uh…” She frowned, trying to think of something to start with, something small. The bigger things could be dragged up later. But where to start and how to say it, she honestly didn’t know. “…Damn, harder than I thought.”
He chuckled with her, and the brief laughter helped to ease the tension in both of them. “Perhaps if I asked you a question.”
“Could help.”
“Perhaps your family life?” Thane asked after a moment of thought. “It seems nearly unfair that you should have such insight into mine, and I so little into yours in comparison.”
Hira smirked. “Just parents, divorced when I was fourteen. Mom’s with the Alliance, rear admiral. She’s a little off-beat, calls everyone sweet-pea. Or hooligan, sometimes.”
“You speak from experience, I take it?”
“Yeah. After the divorce we didn’t talk much. I didn’t take it well and work was always her priority. When I was twenty or so, we started talking.” An awkward pause settled in as she stirred the oatmeal. “Stationed on Arcturus last I heard. Don’t know if she made it out.”
She stopped there, letting silence fill the air. Thane didn’t let it stay long. “Your description made very little mention of your paternal figure,” he noted, waiting a few more moments before continuing, “Indulge me, if you will, Hira.”
“Alive. Civilian shuttle pilot, helping with the refugees.”
“That is very brief in comparison to your mother.”
Hira gave a rueful nod. “Max and I don’t get along. Some of it goes back to him leaving. Just…don’t know if that was a good thing or not. Hardly know him.”
“Do you wish to?”
“A little,” she admitted with a sigh. “But when we talk, usually devolves into argument. Sometimes wonder if he gives a damn.”
When Thane eventually broke the awkward silence that followed her words, his voice was quiet and almost sheepish. “Perhaps he is simply not so adept at interpersonal communication as he should be.”
Hira considered that, huffing softly at the thought of how similar the situations of father and child were for their families. “Maybe.”
The teapot gave a shrill whistle and Thane set to work. “I believe it is your turn to ask me.”
“What about you? Know about Irikah and Kolyat, do you have any other family?”
He chuckled. “I did not come from nothing, no. Though I am uncertain ‘family’ would be the precisely correct term.”
Hira gave him an unamused look. “Alright, I’ll bite. Correct term?”
“Relations perhaps. Though both suggest that there is a place where I belong amongst them.”
“Don’t feel that you have one?”
“Perhaps, though it seems much more factual than personal emotions on the issue. I have not spoken nor seen my childhood family since I was taken into the compact and Irikah’s family… well. I believe it is safe to assume that is a place I am no longer welcome.”
An awkward silence settled in once again; Hira rubbed the bridge of her nose. “What were they like?”
“Which?”
“Either. Both. You pick.” She smirked in an attempt to lighten the conversation.
Thane quietly deliberated for a moment, idly playing with his mug as the tea steeped. “From what I recall of my parents, they were ideal models of their role. My father and mother had both formerly been of service to the Compact, allowed to leave and start a family just as I was with Irikah. My sister and I were raised with the utmost kindness and care for the time I was allowed to spend with them.”
“Had a sister? What was that like?”
“Much like having a close friend and companion, a feeling to which I am certain you can relate.”
She hummed softly. “And Irikah’s family, or did you pick ‘either’?”
“They were… wary of me, to put it lightly. A reaction one might expect to the task I was trained all my life to perform. They accepted me because of my relationship with Irikah, but I often wonder if they ever actually considered me amongst their own. That is to say nothing of their character. They were wonderful people, devoted as they should have been. If they kept me at a distance, it is not something they can be faulted for.”
“Suppose I can understand that. Having an assassin around would be a little intimidating for civilians.”
“It does not hurt their credibility that their wariness of me was indeed correctly placed.”
Hira frowned and rubbed her nose again. She tried to think of something to say, other than empty platitudes that would just be an insult to both of them, but nothing came. So instead she took his hand. Thane looked up at her and smiled reassuringly, giving her hand a squeeze. She smiled back; despite the awkwardness, it felt good to talk openly about these things. She looked forward to their next awkward conversation.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/980b0305aab683472a95f9fb9fd59cdf/tumblr_mlwfzht3ap1qmsbbvo1_500.jpg)
co-written by whatsernameanyways
It took her longer than usual to remember where she was.
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- Who’s more dominant: That’s a good question
- Who’s the cuddler: Once they’ve gotten used to the intimacy, they’re about even. It’s comforting and a reminder that the other is still there.
- Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Thane is big spoon, though they usually fall asleep facing each other.
- What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Bickering like an old married couple and seeing how much trouble they can get into before C-Sec tries to arrest them. Really just spending as much time together as they can, whether they do or say anything or just enjoy the company.
- A head canon: After the war, the apartment has to be entirely refurbished. Hira and Thane take the opportunity to decorate it however they want; the second of the two spare bedrooms becomes an observatory. After a slight mishap with paint there are trails of multi-colored footprints across the floors. They leave it that way.
- Their relationship summed up in a gif:
- Who’s more dominant: Hira, but only slightly.
- Who’s the cuddler: The closest either of them comes to cuddling is an arm around the shoulder when the other’s having a bad day or just needs to cry for a bit.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:- What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: People-watching and mocking their teachers
- A head canon: A few weeks after Airi moves in with Hira and her mom, Hira shows Airi around the catwalks and hidden places on the station. Also, when Hira’s being a bigger butt than usual, Airi often ‘corrects’ her with a bop on the head.
- Their relationship summed up in a gif:
- Who’s more dominant: In many ways Hira follows Jane’s lead, but there are things Hira insists on, and Jane generally doesn’t protest.
- Who’s the cuddler: They don’t cuddle, but they have fallen asleep curled up side-by-side on the couch in the observatory a few times.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:- What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Star-gazing; the observatory is their safe place. They also make use of the station’s gym often, usually when there’s no one else there.
- A head canon: They are fiercely protective of each other, and the more intelligent students quickly learn not to speak badly of the Shepards within earshot. They can’t beat up the teachers, though, but they certainly talk back, and have more than once ended up sharing detention.
- Their relationship summed up in a gif:
- Who’s more dominant: Hira, for the most part. Sometimes she lets Garrus think he is.
- Who’s the cuddler: They both are, though it takes Hira a little while to get used to it.
- Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Garrus is the big spoon.
- What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Slow-dancing their way around the cabin/apartment and snarking at each other while they clean their sniper rifles.
- A head canon: Garrus cannot sing, and it amuses Hira to no end. She comments that she could listen to his voice forever but only if he doesn’t sing. Garrus usually finds a way to get her to sing instead.
- Their relationship summed up in a gif:
